Frozen Glances
by Arglefumph
Summary: A series of random oneshots that popped into my head, the last time I was forced to rewatch Frozen.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **My five-year-old stepdaughter-to-be likes forcing me to watch _Frozen_. Here are random story ideas that popped into my head during the last viewing.

* * *

><p>Anna snuck into her sister's bedroom. With any luck, Elsa would be gone all afternoon.<p>

With a furtive look around, Anna tiptoed to Elsa's closet and pulled out the sparkly blue dress Elsa had made for herself. It didn't fit Anna perfectly, but it was close enough.

Anna did up her hair to look like her sister's, then she started spinning around and singing. "Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore!"

"ANNA!" a voice shouted.

Elsa stood in the doorway, her mouth open.

"Oops! Sorry!" Anna said. "I, um...it's not what it looks like!"

"I can see what happened! You snuck into my room and dressed up in my clothing..." Elsa said. Her voice trailed off. "...Did you do this, just so you could sing 'Let It Go'?"

Anna hung hear head in shame. "I always secretly wanted to do it," she explained.


	2. Chapter 2

It was Elsa's worst nightmare. In a moment of lost control, she shot icicles at her sister. Everyone in the ballroom gasped in horror.

"She is a _monster!_" the Duke of Weselton said.

"A witch!" someone else cried.

Anna had a look of horror on her face, but she still took a step forward. "Elsa—"

"No, wait!" Hans cried. "I've seen this before! I know the solution!"

Elsa was ready to flee the castle, but Hans' words made her pause. She calmed her heavy breathing enough to ask, "You...what?"

Was it possible? Elsa had never heard of anyone else with ice powers like hers. But if someone else knew about them...

Hans grabbed something off the buffet table and handed it to Elsa. "Here, drink this! It will control your powers!"

"What is it?" Elsa asked.

"It's a magical elixir, from my home country," he said.

"It's delicious!" Anna said, nodding happily. "I ate it with those chips!"

Elsa drank it. The icicles from the floor shrank into nothingness, and a collective sigh of relief filled the room.

"What _is_ this called?" Elsa asked.

She turned the bottle over and read the label: _Tabasco Sauce_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Lazy Hans  
><strong>_In which Hans cares more about dinner than his evil plans to seize control of Arendelle._

The horse trotted into the courtyard, blissfully unaware of the havoc it was created.

"Anna's horse!" Hans said. "But where is she?"

"The horse came without a rider, my lord!" someone said.

"She's been killed!" the Duke of Weselton said. "The Queen killed her own sister!"

"We don't know that for certain," Hans said calmly. "We need to make a search party. We have to find Anna, and—"

His tummy grumbled.

"You know what? You guys work on the search party without me," Hans said. "I'm gonna go inside and get some stew or something. I'm hungry."

* * *

><p>Nine hours later, there was a report from the search party. Queen Elsa had been killed by a crossbow shot, from one of the Duke's men. Anna was still missing, now presumed dead.<p>

As the only royal left in the country, Hans was made King by default.

_What do you know?_ Hans thought. _I didn't have to make evil plans to rule the kingdom. All I had to do was sit around and do nothing! Great!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Wedding Rules Exist for a Reason  
><strong>_In which Hans' plans to seize control of Arendelle fail because of reality._

"Anna is dead," Hans announced to the room, in the saddest voice he could muster. "The ice...frozen her body."

The various ambassadors in the room gasped.

"At least we got to exchange our wedding vows before she died," Hans said with a heavy heart. "I regret to say this, but now that I am King, I must punish Elsa for her sister's murder."

"King? You're the King?" the German ambassador asked.

"Yes," Hans said. "I married Princess Anna. That makes me first in line to inherit the throne."

The Scottish ambassador shook his head. "You _say_ you married Anna. Do you have any proof of this?"

"My love just died, and you're asking me for proof?!" Hans said sharply.

The men in the room all nodded, and a flurry of questions burst out of them.

"Who performed the wedding ceremony?"

"Were there any witnesses?"

"Did you sign any documents?"

"Were there any witnesses?"

Hans was indignant at this minor setback. "We were alone at the time! You can't expect us to go through all that legal mumbo-jumbo, when Anna only had minutes left to live!"

"If you have no proof, then there's no way for us to know that you're telling the truth," said the Irish ambassador. He turned to the others. "Who was in control of Arendelle in the three year period between the death of the king and Elsa's coming of age?"

"I believe two citizens named Kay and Gerda served as regents."

"Then control of the country should revert back to them until we get this situation sorted out."

Hans' eyes popped out. _No...no! _he thought. Quickly, he decided to fall back on his second plan: marrying Elsa.

"You know what? I changed my mind," Hans said. "Let's not punish Elsa. I mean, accidents happen, right? I'm sure she didn't kill her sister on purpose!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Learning Control**

"This is awful..." Elsa moaned to herself. "Awful..."

Elsa's coronation was set to take place three days from now. In order to become Queen, she would have to do the unthinkable: _take her gloves off for five seconds_.

Yes, Elsa had spent the last ten years training herself how to control her emotions. Yes, she was an introvert who always hid herself and her feelings from other people.

_But there was no way she could go five seconds without an emotional breakdown!_

She could never be Queen! At the coronation, everyone would learn about her ice powers! And that would be a tragedy, because there is no magic an Arendelle, besides for the magical rock trolls. The people would burn Elsa as a witch!

Desperately, Elsa poured through all of the books in the castle library. And even though her main emotion was _fear_, she found the solution to all of her problems in a book on anger management.

* * *

><p><em>Three Days Later...<em>

Elsa felt her ice powers creeping up on her as she stepped into the cathedral.

She took a deep breath and counted to ten.

She felt her ice powers receding, and she smiled as she became calm. The emotional control technique worked perfectly!

The coronation proceeded without any problems. Nobody ever learned about Elsa's ice powers, because she had finally learned to control her emotions.


	6. Chapter 6

_"TROLLS!"_ Anna yelled at the top of her voice.

The rocks unrolled themselves into their normal forms. The trolls excitedly gathered around her, oblivious to the waves of fury coming from Anna's body.

"It's Kristoph's girl!"

"She came back to see us!"

"We love you, Princess!"

Anna picked up the Troll Leader and started shaking him ferociously.

"I just found out you stole my memories!" she shouted. "_You're_ the reason I didn't know about Elsa's ice powers!"

"It was to protect you," the troll offered weakly.

"PROTECT ME?! _You ruined my childhood!_ You're the reason Elsa set up huge emotional barriers between herself and everyone else! You kept her away from me for TEN YEARS!"

"I...I'm sorry?"

"But that's now the worst part! You knew _the entire time_ that love could be used to control Elsa's powers! You could have prevented this huge mess by saying so right from the start!"

"I thought it was obvious!" the troll said.

Anna took the troll to the nearest cliff and threw him off. It didn't change anything, and the troll wasn't hurt, but it made her feel better.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** During Hans' villain scene, he explains why he seduced Anna. Specifically, he says, "As heir, Elsa was preferable, of course. But no one was getting anywhere with her."

Unless I'm mistaken, this means multiple people tried to seduce Elsa.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Elsa," a smooth voice said.<p>

Elsa stopped short and turned to face the man. He had beautiful dark bangs and a smirk that didn't look like it would quit anytime soon.

"Name's Flynn Rider," he said. "Congrats on the whole queen thing. Your parents would be proud."

"You knew my parents?" Elsa asked.

"Not well," Flynn said. "We got in an argument or two, back in the day. Let's just say they were a bit more...uh, _protective_ than I would have liked."_  
><em>

Elsa gave Flynn an unpleasant look. She didn't like talking about her parents in general, and she especially didn't like people who said mean things about her parents.

Flynn's smirk grew wider. "It's a long story, and it's all in the past," he said. "I'm just trying to say you'll be a great queen."

"I see," Elsa said icily.

Flynn Rider gave Elsa a look that could only be described as a smolder. "Well, I have my own princess to attend to," he said. "Good luck with ruling the kingdom. Try not to go crazy and almost destroy the whole kingdom."

"Almost destroy the kingdom?"

"I did that once," Flynn admitted. "By accident, of course. I...don't like to talk about it."

He gave Elsa a friendly hand gesture, then left to find a brown-haired woman who looked surprisingly similar to Anna.

Elsa shook it off and walked in a different direction. A large man in a turtleneck sweater stepped in front of her.

"Yoohoo! Queenie Queen! Frozen Oaken here to wish you luck!" he said. "You lower taxes on merchants now, ya?"

"What?" Elsa asked.

"Taxes bad, sales good! I offer you 20% discount! Royal treat, hmmmm?"

"I'm sorry," Elsa said. "I have to use the bathroom now."

She quickly ran away.


	8. Chapter 8

Hans pulled his lips away from Elsa's. "What am I doing?" he asked. "I can't kiss you!"

"You just did," Elsa said, smiling.

"But I'm engaged to your sister!"

"No, you're not," Elsa said. "I didn't approve of the engagement, remember?"

"_That's_ why you're against the marriage?" Hans cried. "Because you wanted to—to—_seduce_ me?"

"You make it sound so vulgar," Elsa said. "I think you want me, just as much as I want you."

"You—I—the fact that I want to kiss you is irrelevant. Anna and I—"

"Let me put it this way," Elsa said firmly. "You kissed me. Have you kissed Anna?"

"...No," Hans admitted.

"Your engagement was a fake the whole time, wasn't it?" Elsa asked.

"...Yes."

"Don't sound so sad about it. We both know Anna is too immature for a _real_ relationship," Elsa said. "It could never work out between the two of you. You need an older, more _mature_ woman."

"Like you?"

"Duh," Elsa said.

Hans took a deep breath and shook his head. "I still feel like this is going to hurt Anna."

"For a little while. Lying to her would be worse, though. In the long run, this is for the best."

"But—"

"Hans," Elsa said softly. "Take all your concern and let it go."

"Let it go..." Hans whispered.

"Now kiss me again, before I freeze you."

"As you wish, Your Highness."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **Here's what might happen, if Hans was a genuinely nice person, not an evil schemer. Needless to say, this means he did _not _propose to Anna.

* * *

><p>Hans took a moment to catch his breath. Fighting that snow monster had been more frightening than he cared to admit. He sincerely hoped there were no more monsters waiting for them inside.<p>

The icy air stung his cheeks, reminding him to keep moving. He hurried up the stairs and threw open the doors.

The room he saw was probably intended to be a throne room, and it would have been quite pleasant, if not for the monstrous icicles growing from the floor. Hans instantly recognized them as weapons, just like the icicles that Elsa had shot at her sister. This time, the icicles were pointed at the Duke's men, holding them still.

"Stop!" Hans cried. "Don't be the monster they think you are!"

Elsa hesitated, and the icicles stopped growing. She turned to look at Hans, her face wracked with emotion.

"I **am** a monster," she said. "The evil snow queen! You came here to kill me!"

"No! We came to save you!" Hans said. "I could never kill an innocent person!"

"I am far from innocent..."

Out of the corner of his eye, Hans saw the Duke's man raise his arm. The arm was trembling, but the crossbow was aimed directly at Elsa's icy heart. Without thinking, Hans threw his hand out, knocking the crossbow out of the way.

He breathed a sigh of relief, too soon. The bolt from the crossbow hit the chandelier, causing it to fall on top of Elsa. She tried to run away, but with less than three seconds of warning, escape was impossible.

"No!" Hans cried, as he looked with horror at her body, trapped under the chandelier. She wasn't moving.

Hans threw himself upon Elsa and desperately grabbed for her wrist. His breath caught in his throat for a second, then... "A pulse! She's alive! She's still alive!"

"Not for long," a deep voice said. Hans' head swirled around to see the Duke's men, looking angry. The icicles that held them captive were now lying on the ground in pieces.

"No, you can't kill her! She's too b—we might need her!"

"We don't take orders from you, Prince Hans."

"I mean, her magic! She's the only one who stop the endless winter!" Hans said. His chest was heaving. "You can't kill her! It's cruel to kill a helpless woman!"

By this time, the others had arrived. "He's right," one man said. "We can't kill the queen."

"She tried to destroy the country! She brought this curse upon us!"

Hans let out a deep breath and stood up. "We shall take her back to Arendelle Castle," he said firmly. "We will ask her to remove the curse."

"And what if she doesn't?"

"There will be a trial," Hans said. "I want to know how and why she brought the winter storm. We can't do that if she's dead. Now come on. Help me move this chandelier!"

The Duke's men were unconvinced. "We'll help, on one condition," they said.

* * *

><p>Hans shuddered as he entered the dungeon, and not from the cold. He didn't enjoy seeing Elsa chained up, like a wild beast.<p>

Elsa had been hunched over on the ground, but she stood up as Hans came closer. She eyed him critically.

"You," she said. "I recognize you now. You're the one who was with Anna earlier."

"My name is Hans."

"I remember your name," Elsa said. She closed her eyes. "Why did you save me from the crossbow?"

"I had to," Hans said. "I couldn't let them kill an innocent person."

"That's what you said earlier," Elsa said. "Why do you think I'm innocent? Everyone else thinks I'm a witch."

"Anna believes in you. That's enough to convince me that you're a good person," Hans said. "And besides, I was there, when you first started using ice magic. I could see it in your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"They weren't the eyes of an evil sorceress," Hans said. "They were the eyes of someone who was terrified. There's no way you were doing it on purpose."

"It's never on purpose," Elsa said. "Would you believe that I've had these powers my entire life, and I _still_ don't know how to control them?"

"I have twelve older brothers. I know what it's like to not have any control," Hans said. "Too bad this snow curse doesn't come with an instruction manual! I don't suppose Anna has magical sun powers to counteract it?"

"No," Elsa said. "You are either born with the powers, or you're not."

"Then they're a blessing, not a curse," Hans said. "When Anna comes back, maybe we can—"

"Anna's not here?"

"She never returned to the castle," Hans said. "We have a search party looking for her. I'll let you know the instant they find her."

"I have to help her," Elsa said. "Please, let me look for her! I was the last person to see her!"

"I would let you go, if I could. But everyone insisted that we keep you here, just in case."

"Because they hate me!"

"No, because they're scared. They don't know what else to do."

"They're not the only ones."

"I..." Hans sighed. "The truth is, I don't know what to do either. I'm in way over my head here, and the way everyone is acting, I keep worrying that all the foreign dignitaries will declare war on each other. It's rough out there."

"I'm sorry for this," Elsa said.

"It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is."

Hans stared at Elsa, but she wasn't looking at his eyes. She was looking at the wall, with a grim expression on her face. For a long while, neither royal said anything.

"I—I should go," Hans said. "I'll try to get you out of here as soon as possible, okay? I'll be back soon."

"Bye," Elsa said glumly. She slumped back to the ground.

When Hans reached out for the door, Elsa spoke to him.

"Do you really think my ice powers are a blessing?"

"Absolutely," Hans said. "Who knows? They could end up saving Arendelle."

"More like dooming Arendelle."

"That, too. But they're a blessing, and so are you, Queen Elsa."

* * *

><p>Anna came back sooner than Hans expected. Her hair had changed color at this point, and her skin was cold to the touch.<p>

"I'm dying, Hans," she said.

"No!" Hans said. He held her up, because it didn't seem like she could stand on her own. "What happened?"

"It's the snow curse," Anna said. "There's only one cure..."

"What?" Hans asked. "There's a cure? You know the cure? What is it?"

"True love..." Anna said listlessly. "True love melts the frozen heart..."

"I don't understand. Love will stop the snow curse?"

Anna seemed to perk up. "It means I have to perform an act of true love. Like a kiss!"

"A kis—mmmph!" Hans said, as Anna wrapped her arms around his neck and smashed her lips against his. Her lips twitched, and Hans pulled himself away. _"What was THAT?"_

"The prince kisses the princess and saves her," Anna said, unapologetically. "That's how it always works in the fairy tales! Did it work?"

"You're still cold," Hans said.

"But that's—" Anna coughed. "True love is...oh."

Anna's face fell, as her momentary brightness left her. Once again, she looked like she was two minutes away from death. "You don't love me," she said.

"I...I don't _hate_ you," Hans said.

"No, I understand," Anna said. "We only met each other yesterday."

"Yeah..." Hans said. "But don't give up hope! You're a pretty young girl. Surely there must be someone who you—"

"No. There's no one," Anna said. "If only there was someone here who loved me!"

"Love...Elsa!" Hans said suddenly. "Your sister loves you!"

"But...she's the one who cast the snow curse," Anna said. "Do you think she can stop it?"

"It's worth a shot," Hans said. "I'll take you to see her, right away!"

* * *

><p>Hans gave the sisters some privacy and hurried upstairs to make preparations. When he returned, he hesitated at the dungeon door for a few seconds.<p>

_The air is too cold. It couldn't have worked._

"What's wrong?" the guard asked.

"It's...nothing," Hans said.

He opened the door and saw what he expected to see. Anna was holding onto her sister and crying desperately.

"I brought blankets," Hans said, holding them up. "And we've got a fire going upstairs. We'll warm you up, and you'll be back to your old self in no time."

Anna nodded demurely, and she allowed the guard to lead her upstairs. Before leaving, Hans took a moment to look at Elsa.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"It won't work," Elsa said. _"IT WON'T WORK!"_

She tugged at her arm restraints, but they didn't budge.

"Calm down," Hans said. "We're trying to—"

"I killed my sister!" Elsa said. _"I will NOT CALM DOWN!" __  
><em>

The restraints started to freeze over, and Hans took a step backwards in fright. Realization dawned on his face. He took two steps forward and put his hands on Elsa's shoulders.

"Emotions," he said. "That's how you control your powers."

"What?" Elsa asked.

"The snow happens when you're scared or angry. That's what causes it."

"Not always," Elsa said. "Sometimes when I'm happy...no one knows how they work. Believe me, my parents and I tried."

"And what happens when you feel love?" Hans pressed.

"I've never been in love," Elsa said. "How could I? I have to stay away from everyone to protect myself. To protect them."

"Anna said something like, 'True love melts the frozen heart'," Hans said.

"I know!" Elsa snapped, baring her teeth. "I get it, okay? First I curse my sister, then I don't love her enough to save her! I'm a monster!"

"You're not a mon—"

_"SHUT UP!"_ Elsa screamed. She threw her arms to her sides, and the shackles on her hands shattered into tiny pieces. "Stop trying to save me! _Leave me_ _alone!_"

"Then what are you going to do, Elsa?" Hans asked. "Run away from your problems by hiding in the mountains again? Life doesn't work like that!"

"Why do you care?" Elsa asked. "It's none of your business!"

"I—I care, okay?" Hans said, his voice getting shaky. "I know what it's like to feel isolated from everyone else."

"What are you talking about? You have a large family."

"Exactly," Hans said, turning away. "Growing up, it was like I didn't exist. _Literally._ For years, my brothers pretended they couldn't hear anything I said. They thought it was a joke."

Elsa let out a breath. She couldn't comment on the situation. For years, she had pushed her sister away.

"That's why I care," Hans said. "You're hurting, because you're alone. Just like me. So if I help you, it's like I'm helping myself...kind of."

Hans said nothing for a while.

A cold hand touch his shoulder from behind. "Both our lives are awful, aren't they?" Elsa said.

"Yes," Hans agreed. "But hey, at least you've got cool-looking ice powers. I've got nothing."

Elsa smirked. "You know, if I run away to to make my own ice kingdom, you can always come with me."

"No thanks," Hans said. "The air up in the mountains is too hard to breathe. I'd rather take over _your_ kingdom."

"They seriously put you in charge?"

"And I still have no idea why," Hans said. He let out a huge sigh. "Okay, enough self-pity. I should probably go upstairs and check on Anna."

"See if she's still alive, you mean?"

"Yeah. And I should tell the guards that our prisoner has escaped her chains."

"Tell them I've escaped, and I'll turn you into a popsicle," Elsa said.

"Fair enough," Hans said. "It can be our little secret."

Elsa nodded.

"Take care of yourself, Ice Queen," Hans said. He took Elsa's hand and kissed it.

Elsa blushed slightly, and the temperature immediately increased ten degrees.

"What's happening?" Elsa asked, immediately stiffening.

Hans looked up at Elsa's face. "The ice spell...it's ending?"

"How is this possible?"

"It's because I kissed you," Hans said.

"All you did was kiss my hand!"

"True love's kiss melts the frozen heart..."

"We do _not_ have true love! I barely know you!"

Hans stood up straight. "You like me, don't you?"

"What are you, twelve years old?" Elsa snapped. "The spell obviously went away by itself!"

"Or maybe you enjoy the heat from the warm Southern Isles..." Hans said, lifting an eyebrow suggestively.

Elsa held her hands out in front of her and froze Hans where he stood.

"What the—?" Hans said.

"I don't have time for this," Elsa said. "I need to see if Anna's okay. Bye!"

Elsa walked past Hans, towards the exit. "You can't just leave me here!" he said.

"Why not?" Elsa asked. "You left me here."

"I was trying to prevent a war!" Hans said.

"That's very noble of you," Elsa said. "But I'll have to come back for you later, Hans. I've got a kingdom to take care of first."

"ELSA!" Hans cried.

Elsa giggled and gave Hans a kiss on the cheek. "Bye bye, lover boy."


	10. Chapter 10

"Olaf!" Anna cried. "You're melting!"

"Some people are worth melting for," Olaf said. As his face began to fall into a watery lump, he whispered, "Goodbye, Anna."

"Olaf, NO!"

Anna sobbed as Olaf died before her eyes. She reached out to grab the water that had once been her friend, but it evaporated before she could touch it.

After a few seconds of grief, Anna was shocked to discover that she was no longer near death. The color had returned to her hair, and her limbs no longer felt weak.

"Only an act of true love will thaw the frozen heart!" Anna said with amazement.

Anna stood up, her body feeling warmer every second. "Thank you, Olaf," she said. "I'm going to save my sister now. I won't let your sacrifice be in vain!"


	11. Chapter 11

"How are you going to stop this eternal winter?" Kristoph asked. Do you have a plan?"

"Oh, I have a plan!" Anna said confidently. "I'm going to talk to my sister!"

"Are you going to _talk_ to her, or are you going to sing at her?" Kristoph asked.

Anna stopped midstep. "What?"

"You always burst into song at inappropriate moments," Kristoph said.

"I do not!"

"Dude. You've tried to start six songs, in the two hours I've known you."

"Only because you keep refusing to do a duet!" Anna said.

"I'm just saying! My entire ice business is riding on this! So try _talking_ to her, not singing!"

Anna gave Kristoph a dirty look. "Fine."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **There is a weird moment in the scene, where Kristoph decides to visit the trolls. The scene looks like this:

"Okay! Where are we going?" Olaf asked.

"To see my friends," Kristoph said.

"The love experts?" Anna asked, catching up to him.

"Yes," Kristoph said. "And don't worry; they'll be able to fix this."

"How do you know?" Anna asked.

Kristoph looked her over, remembering the moment he saw the trolls heal her as a child.

"...Because I've seen them do it before," he says.

At this point, the movie cuts away to a different scene. Let me continue the conversation...

* * *

><p>"When?" Anna asked.<p>

"When what?" Kristoph asked.

"When have you seen your friends fix this?"

"When I was a kid," Kristoph said. "I saw them heal a redheaded girl. She was injured while playing with her sister, or something like that. I didn't get all the details."

"So the love experts are doctors!" Olaf said.

"No, that's not it," Kristoph explained. "See, her sister had ice powers. The parents were worried that her ice powers would get out of control and destroy everything."

"Just like Elsa," Olaf said.

"Exactly," Kristoph said. "That's why we have to see my friends. They've _definitely _dealt with these problems before."

"They...have?" Anna asked. "Well, don't keep it a secret! How did they solve the problem?"

"Granpabby explained that fear causes ice powers to grow stronger," Kristoph said. "The parents decided to lock up the girl and isolate her from everyone else. That way, she'd be protected."

"Um," Anna said. Maybe it was the cold creeping into her brain, but that sounded _exactly_ like Elsa. "Is that it?"

"Basically," Kristoph said. "Oh! Right, they also erased the redhead's memory, so she wouldn't know her sister has ice powers." He shrugged and gave a half-laugh. "I never saw those girls again, so it must have been successful."

Anna's face fell. "Wait. Let me get this straight. Your friends _erased my memory?_"

"Your mem...that was _you?_" Kristoph asked.

"Do you know any other redheads whose older sisters have ice powers?!" Anna snapped. "I can't believe you knew about this, the whole time! Why didn't you mention this before?"

"I didn't think it was relevant!" Kristoph defended himself.

"You knew about another girl with ice powers, and you thought that was irrelevant?"

"It sounds stupid when you say it like that," Kristoph said.

"Probably because it is stupid!" Anna said.

"Calm down!" Olaf said. "I bet this all a misunderstanding! Like the girl he saw was Queen Elsa's sister!"

"_I'm_ Queen Elsa's sister!" Anna said.

"What? Really?" Olaf asked. "Then why don't you have ice powers?"

"I don't know! It sounds like I'd be able to tell you, except Kristoph's friends stole my memories!"

"They left the fun," Kristoph interjected.

"I'll fun you!" Anna said. She hit Kristoph and stormed off in the other direction.

"Anna! Anna, wait! Come back!" Kristoph called. "Maybe my friends can return your memories!"

"[Bad word], Kristoph!" Anna cried.

Kristoph sighed.

Olaf pulled on Kristoph's sleeve. "Is this why everyone says you're socially impaired?"


	13. Chapter 13

**If Frozen Was Written by First-Graders**

Anna was singing, "Don't know if I'm elated or gassy, but I'm..."

Then she farted really loudly.

"Oops, I'm gassy!" she said. "Ha ha ha!"

Then she farted again.


	14. Chapter 14

My daughter made me read the Frozen picture book at the library. In some respects, the book was better than the movie! Specifically, the scene of Anna and Elsa at the ice castle was better. The characters talked about their problems and explained how they felt! Elsa didn't just sing, "**I can't!**"; she actually explained _why_ she felt that she couldn't return to Arendelle.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean, you can't go unfreeze Arendelle?" Anna asked.<p>

"I don't know how!" Elsa said. "My powers, I don't know how they work!"

"How did they work last time?" Anna asked.

"I don't know!" Elsa said. "I...they're tied to my emotions. When I get really angry or upset or scared, my powers just...come out!"

"Hmmm..." Anna said. "What if we gave you more practice with your powers?"

"More practice?"

"Yeah, we could get you angry on purpose!" Anna said. "In fact, I have the _perfect _idea for this! I know how to get you super-duper angry!"

"How?" Elsa asked.

"Wait here. You'll love it! I mean, you'll _hate_ it!"

Anna came back in a minute with a strange-looking creature.

"Hi, I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs!" the creature said.

Elsa was confused. "You're going to make me angry with a _snowman?_"

"Just give it a few minutes," Anna smiled.

* * *

><p>"I like <em>that<em> crystal, and _that_ crystal, and _that_ crystal, and _that_ crystal..." Olaf said, counting every single crystal he liked in the Ice Palace.

Elsa snapped.

_"SHUT UP!" _she screamed. _"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I HATE YOU, YOU ANNOYING MONSTER!"_

"Gee, Elsa, maybe you should _chill out_," Olaf giggled, trying to be cute.

Elsa screamed in rage, and a torrent of snow burst forth from her hands, obliterating Olaf.

"Perfect! Perfect!" Anna cheered. "Now don't stop! Figure out how to _control_ what you're doing!"

"I...I..." Elsa said. Her eyes hardened, as she focused on the task at hand. Instead of shooting out snow, she tried doing the exact opposite: sucking in snow. Soon, the snow became warmer and receded. She was left with a large puddle where Olaf used to be.

"Phew!" Elsa said, bending over to catch her breath. "It's gone. We'll never have to deal with it again..."

"You did it!" Anna said.

"I did!" Elsa said. "I think I can control my powers now! Let's go unfreeze Arendelle, together!"

The two sisters hugged each other and left the ice palace together, their relationship (and Elsa's powers) now stronger than ever.


End file.
